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| Gary Tate - PRICK! |
Who is Gary Tate??, dunno you may well answer, and if I said, Eastbourne's own George Clooney look alike!....You would probably still be none the wiser. But that is what this man is (erm the expression MAN being used very loosely!)....yes folks, the seaside dump of Eastbourne is not only the home town of the world famous David Beckham look-alike, but WAS also (until recently) the home of GARY TATE....the not so famous George Clooney cum Groucho Marx look-alike!
Let me give you some background on this loser, he was born in 1957 in Eastbourne and educated (or uneducated) at the same dodgy school where the school teacher Jeremy Forrest - the paedophile who started a manhunt after he ran away to France with a disturbed 15 year old student in 2013- taught!
Once he grew up he got a job (like most other 'not so bright folk' in the area) as a window fitter.
When George Clooney became popular in the 90's someone must have said to him that he looked vaguely like the actor. Anyway this started the idiot going around town popping into shops like a friendly pet dog and asking strangers "Do you know who I look Like" ??...and the bemused answer was usually "erm...dunno....AN IDIOT"?
I was getting a few complaints from some of my female friends about his irritating habits and his growing ego (which used to disappear entirely when we laughed out loud when he walked past us!).
People were getting really bored of his antics around Eastbourne, I suggested sending him hate mail, and this was agreed by a few people, but in the end as I worked in a photo processing lab behind the grotty little workshop where he was employed, I decided to take a photograph of my anus develop it and draw a line to my arsehole saying 'THATS YOU!', and posted it anonymously to the shop. I'm sure when he saw it, it would have knocked his tiny brain back into the realisation that he was just a nobody really!
Anyhow after sending this photo, I got some welcome news in the local paper, Tate had battered his wife and was due in the magistrates court.... the headline in the Eastbourne Herald reading;
'GEORGE CLOONEY LOOK-ALIKE GARY TATE IN COURT FOR ASSAULTING WIFE'
Oh how I laughed! Unfortunately, after Tate BEGGED his brutalised wife for forgiveness, she reluctantly (and stupidly) dropped the charges in return for a divorce!
He legged it as quick as his Groucho Marx physique would allow, and sought sanctuary in Ashford, Kent. This was a pathetic attempt to escape from the reputation of a wife beater which he had gained!!
Sadly his look-alike agency was getting less and less interested in Tate, as a result of the real Clooney's own career and popularity going downhill but also because Tate never really looked much like Clooney in the first place!
However as soon as the heat had died down about his past crime's, the desperate Tate tried a new ploy....he invented a ridiculous story in which he insinuated that Max Clifford's wife had offered £4,000 to sleep with HIM...because she couldn't afford the real Clooney!!!...and then doubled it to £8,000 when Tate refused!!
Just a few flaws with this headline - from the world renowned 'Kentish Express' - it's all bullshit!
The man is a fantasist, if he needs to try so desperately for publicity, he must also learn the shame of his past is very relevant as well.
So if you are one of those people who thinks a fun party involves hiring a dubious look-alike wandering about, with his arse sticking out, pestering, the women .....do yourselves a favour......Just book the David Jason wannabe ...he may not look like him ...but he won't scare your daughter or wife!!
Gary Tate Trivia!
* He has had 3 very unsuccessful marriages!
* Tate has now found a job cleaning puke from peoples carpets!!
* Tate will get his free bus pass in 2020
@gary-tate @clooneys-cleaning @clooney-lookalike @george-clooney-Eastbourne